


Absolutely No Decorum

by taztaas (manala)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 01:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manala/pseuds/taztaas
Summary: Taako is not okay. Kravitz gets to see all of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to [succcubae](http://succcubae.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for beta-ing and helping me with this.

“I get night terrors,” Taako says, grinning, like it’s a joke, like it’s funny. Kravitz blinks. He hasn’t slept in centuries, he has no idea what that entails, so he asks.

“Oh, it’s no big,” Taako says, waving a dismissive hand. “Might say some stuff, thrash around a bit, scream a little.” That all sounds pretty bad to Kravitz and it must show on his face because Taako is quick to reassure him.

“It’s fine, I won’t remember any of it when I wake up. Don’t worry about it, handsome.”

The wizard casts Silence on his room with a confident smirk.

“Just don’t try to wake me up, I'll probably lash out,” Taako says with an air of finality that lets Kravitz know that the conversation is over. Kravitz concedes like he always does.

**\---**

Kravitz lays on Taako’s messy bed, arms full of surprisingly clingy wizard. He tries to sleep. He has no idea how it's supposed to happen, but it seemed to come easy for Taako, so he keeps still, eyes closed. It’s quiet, besides Taako’s breathing and the quiet hum of whatever is keeping the moonbase airborne - magic or machinery, or both.

Kravitz isn’t sure what he’s doing here. He and Taako are… seeing each other, he supposes. They haven’t labeled it, and after years and years with little to no social interaction, Kravitz isn’t sure what it means to be dating. But he knows that he wants Taako, wants to make this thing they have work.

Kravitz hasn’t felt like this in ages, and he knows, somewhere deep in his heart, that this is it. He will never get a chance like this again. But Taako doesn’t make it easy.

Taako is strange and imperfect. He skirts over feelings he deems too complicated with airy indifference. He doesn’t like talking, and Kravitz doesn’t like to push. He doesn’t want to let Taako go, and that makes him hesitate, makes him scared of pushing too far.

Kravitz won’t pry, but he will take whatever Taako gives him, and he will treasure it. He would be ashamed of himself for being so desperate, but Taako is amazing and alive, vibrant. He makes Kravitz feel alive too.

Kravitz wishes that Taako would talk to him. Because he can see that Taako is hurting. He doesn’t know why or how, but he sees that something is missing, gone. Taako is callous and cruel, even to Angus, who is a child. He puts himself first and prefers to hang back. He refuses to make food but complains about everyone else's.

There’s an emptiness in Taako, and Kravitz sees this because he recognizes it in himself. He knows loneliness. Kravitz’s loneliness is a natural result of his status and occupation, whereas Taako’s is manufactured, he builds walls around himself and refuses help. Taako’s aloof act is a carefully crafted game of pretend to keep everyone out. Or to lock himself in to keep safe.

Kravitz is shaken out of his thoughts when Taako lets out a small huff in his sleep, and Kravitz turns his attention to the elf in his arms. A frown appears on Taako’s brow. He makes a small distressed noise, and Kravitz stiffens because is this it? The terrors, the nightmares? But when he touches Taako’s hair, pets his head, Taako settles down, breathing easy again.

**\---**

Kravitz has no idea when or how he fell asleep, but he jolts awake as Taako bolts upright next to him, eyes wide, screaming. Kravitz scrambles up, shocked and staring as Taako looks ahead with unseeing eyes, fear and panic etched into his features. He screams until his voice cracks, only to heave for breath and start again. Kravitz has no idea what to do. He feels helpless, panic settling into the pit of his stomach. He watches his companion, locked in the throes of some terrible nightmare.

Without thinking, Kravitz reaches out to touch Taako’s arm. Reacting immediately, Taako takes a swing at him, hitting blindly. He catches the elf by the wrist and Taako jerks at the touch and falls back into the bed. Kravitz lets go, afraid of hurting him, and Taako curls up on the sheets.

Taako covers his head with his arms to protect himself. He stops screaming but starts babbling in garbled Elvish, in a dialect Kravitz has never heard before. The only word he catches and understands is  _sister_.He doesn’t dare to touch him again.

He calls Taako's name, but the elf is unresponsive, inconsolable. Kravitz looks as Taako keeps moaning and wailing, muttering in Elvish until he wears himself out and falls asleep again. Kravitz stays awake and watches him.

**\---**

Taako wakes up before dawn, yawning and stretching. He meets Kravitz’s glowing red eyes in the dark and he lifts a hand to his face, feels the sticky tracks his tears have left behind.

“Oh,” he says, just oh, and Kravitz bristles.

“That was absolutely terrifying Taako.”

Taako frowns and reaches for him, but Kravitz moves away. He feels angry, frustrated. He doesn’t understand Taako’s need to downplay sad and terrible things. It’s unhealthy, Kravitz understands that much. People have feelings. He’s the grim reaper, he’s dead and _he_ has feelings. But Taako bottles it all up, keeps it in. It’s destructive.

Kravitz knows Taako will not talk about what a happened, but he has to try. He wants to know. He wants to help because he cares for Taako.

“You said ‘sister’ when you were… screaming.”

“Hmm? Don’t have a sister homie.” Taako says, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I know, you’ve told me you grew up alone,” Kravitz says seriously, wanting an answer, demanding an explanation.

“Must’ve heard me wrong my dude,” Taako says airily, avoiding eye-contact, posture now defensive. Kravitz sighs, weary. He clenches his fists on the sheet covering his legs.

“This is not a good thing, Taako,” Kravitz says, and he isn’t sure if he means the nightmare or Taako’s tendency to deflect. Probably both. He is tired. He wants to help, but how to help someone who doesn’t want you to?

“Well, listen, what the fuck do you expect me to do huh?” Taako hisses, still not looking at him. Angry, because Kravitz kept pushing. And now Kravitz is angry too. He kept pushing because he wants to help. He feels useless. It’s not a nice feeling, being unneeded.

“Do you want me to leave?” Kravitz demands, tightness in his jaw, and Taako grimaces and shakes his head no. He doesn’t reach for Kravitz again, but Kravitz can see that he wants to, and that small flash of vulnerability is what makes him cave in. Taako won’t say that he needs help, but sometimes he doesn’t have to.

Kravitz grabs Taako’s hand, hesitant to touch but thankfully he is not rejected. He settles back down on the bed and pulls Taako with him. Taako settles against him, head on his shoulder. He presses a light kiss to Kravitz’s neck but says nothing. He doesn’t apologize and Kravitz feels disappointed. The silence stretches and it’s uncomfortable.

Kravitz cares for Taako, and he thinks that Taako cares for him in turn, even if he’s a little inconsiderate. But he wonders if Taako cares for himself if he sees how others hold him dear.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Kravitz stays the night, the moon is full. He steps out of the rift, into the wizard’s room. Taako greets him, still wearing his day clothes.

“We’re goin’ outside.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now.”

Taako grabs his hand and takes him up, up, up until they are on the roof. They stand on top of the largest dome on the moonbase, and the moon seems so huge, so bright, and closer than ever. Taako lets go of Kravitz. He prances forward and starts to move.

With a start, Kravitz realizes that Taako is dancing. There is no music, no sound other than the wind, and it catches Taako’s braided hair, pulling it loose. It catches his clothing and they billow around him as he twirls. The moon, impossibly large behind him, frames him into a swirling silhouette.

He spins around, holding to his hat. He shoots sparkles from his open palms, his stretched out arms. He laughs, high-pitched, uninhibited and alive.

And Kravitz is overwhelmed by this impossible elf, this paradox of a person, so full of life. One moment tormented by phantoms of his past, fighting some invisible enemy in his sleep. The other, bursting with joy, more carefree than anything. Alive, after dying 19 times, only remembering 11 of them.

Kravitz doesn’t know or remember much about the living but he can tell that this is unusual. But Taako is nothing if not unusual. Kravitz hasn’t yet decided if that is a virtue or a vice.

He is shaken out of his thoughts when Taako crowds him, gets right into his face, folds his arms behind Kravitz’s neck and whispers against his lips.

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

Kravitz smiles, eyes sad.

“Yes. But I also think you’re divine.”

Taako kisses him, quick and soft. He pulls him into a dance, and Kravitz takes the lead, guiding them in a semblance of a waltz. Taako looks up at him, smiling in the darkness, moonlight reflecting off his eyes. Kravitz dips him, Taako’s hat falls off his head and he laughs. Kravitz spins him, out and back into his arms, and Taako grins, his teeth flashing white in the darkness. They dance without reason, they don’t need one and the wind blows around them, a rush in their ears. Kravitz looks at Taako’s face and he’s bursting with feeling, but he confesses nothing.

They still, and they stand together. Kravitz lowers his hands to Taako’s waist, and Taako casts Magehand to get his hat back. He presses it onto his head and smiles at Kravitz.

“I have nothing to lose,” Taako says, out of breath, half laughing.

“This is it for me. After this, the Bureau, the relics. When this ends, there is nothing. No purpose, no responsibility.” He says simply, quietly. Barely heard over the blowing wind.

“Taako, do you wish to die?” Kravitz asks, shaken, and Taako says nothing, but kisses him. It’s a long kiss, a gentle one, and it feels so good it hurts.

 _No one else will have me_ , Kravitz remembers and says “I will have you Taako. I will always want you.” He grabs Taako’s hands, holding them between his own.

“I’ll have you, if you’ll have me.”

He stares into Taako’s eyes, and for once, Taako doesn’t look away. Instead, his face softens, smile turning gentle.

“You know I killed forty innocent people.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Kravitz says, truthful, and Taako looks at their hands before moving them to entwine their fingers. He leans close, their foreheads now touching and hands pressed between their chests.

“I’m not easy to hold on to,” Taako says in a whisper, eyes closed.

“I don’t care, I- I won’t let go. I don’t want to, so I won’t”

Taako opens his eyes and slowly raises his gaze to meet Kravitz’s. Taako searches his eyes for something, and Kravitz has no idea what it is but he wants nothing more than to give it, for Taako to find it.

Taako smiles, sad and hollow but there is a spark of hope in his eyes. And Kravitz realizes with a start that he is in love. He has fallen for this amazing wizard, this impossible elf. Strange and imperfect. Vibrant but full of darkness.

“...Taako.”


End file.
